Dear Brothers of Rainbow Culture, Allies (gay supportive) and all persons in male bodies -hetero-, bi-, trans-, non-binary, ‘two-spirit’, intersex, asexual, pansexual, monastic, celibate

Tena koutou katoa! Greetings!  Because I am a queer gay diverse man, white and of ‘european’ background, this website will contain bias/prejudice/discrimination/phobia -i welcome your different informedness in order to make changes. For those of us who no longer have a sense of belonging with indigenous culture, I am now considering of intersectionality as being the interfacial entry point for greater awareness, meditative insight and transformation between people, animals, plants, earth and the galaxies beyond!

*I have taken the following questions from another website page entitled Introduction Page 4.1…

Who are you in terms of morphology, gender identity, sexual orientation and behaviour (including those of celibacy)? I am of a male body, of queer male/non-binary gender, of homosexual orientation and of homosexual oral and sodomite behaviour with an openness to various morphologies. *In my early thirties i discontinued having sexual intimacy with womyn, but this position is now pending…

Who are you in terms of class/caste? historically of working class background, and now middle class

Who are you in terms of English, as a first or second language, speaker of other languages? English is my native/first language, with some Maori and waiata (songs). I can use basic tourist greetings in Viet Namese, Turkish, Thai and Malaysian.

Who are you in terms of race (slavery/colonisation/refugee/migrant)/ethnicity? Pakeha/European I am a third generation European/New Zealander, with my first generation relations coming from Skibbereen/Ireland, Essen/Germany and Yorkshire/UK

Who are you in terms of nomadic/land, property owner/renter; gypsy/Romani, indigenous/’westernised’? I am a property owner

Who are you in terms of different-ability? I use medication for the metabolic syndrome pertaining to elevated blood pressure, cholesterol, acid, diabetes and anxiety

Who are you in terms of age, developmental and maturational –embryo/infant/child/adolescent/young adult/middle age/elder? I am an elder of 72 years young! Because i was aware of societal sanctions around what was male/female at four years of age while dressing up through play at pre-school, experiencing an inherent and positive attraction to men by seven years of age, and having never developmentally identified as a boy or a girl, experientially and/or linguistically, there is a continual psychological fluidity/time warp between early childhood through to my chronological age

Who are you in terms of oral, vaginal and/or anal sexual behaviours? I partake in oral and anal behaviours within a wide range of intimate connecting

Who are you in terms of partnership configuration -monogamous, polyandrous (one women, more than one man), polygamous (one man, more than one women; polyamorous? I am monogamous or polyandrous

Who are you in terms of refugee, immigrant or citizen status? I am a New Zealand/Aotearoa citizen

Who are you in terms of relationship status and children –monastic; single; married/separated, divorced; de facto; civil union; monogamous/’open’; without/with children? I am single with a be-lover and a new be-lovednessor emerging.

Identity: homosexual.  Gender: non-binary/beyond binary male
Behaviours: with all hetero-/homo- male bodies
Duration for Sexual Intimacy: episodic; event based, and/or; contractual with significant other
Sexual Intimacy Configuration: male dyad; bro-lover, polyandry
Disclosures and Negotiations/Consent: prior to for HIV/PrEP; STIs, and; in the moment for anal/vaginal penetration

Beforehand Care: consult with your counsellor; identify fixed boundaries After Care: verbal/contractual agreement re. face-to-face psychological access for an agreed to timeframe eg. on call for first 24 hours etc.                                                                                                                                                                                              Professional services: Outline support line, call us on: 0800 688 5463. National Mental Health line, 1737 for national call or text    Burnett Centre, Auckland Central, 09 3095560. We provide services for gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men, and people living with or affected by HIV. Our services include rapid HIV testing, STI screening, and counselling.

*A support person, partner, counsellor, parent/guardian (whether of female or male body) for a younger adult is welcome to attend, also -for reasons of practitioner transparency, boundaries and consenting with reference to a social construct ‘underbelly’ of power and control!

*Experiential, Training Background: massage trainings -from Aio Wiro Yoga Centre/Swedish via Orthobionomy, Pulsing, psychic, Irene Smith/NZ Aids Foundation, Kim Sama/Sacred Touch; through to experiencing Kashmiri Shiva-Shakti; “personal growth” workshops and trainings/Presbyterian Social Services; men’s movement groups, group and 1:1 Heart Circles (Harry Hay derived) for men who love men; my own personal counselling and professional supervision; co-‘facilitative enquiror’ of self and peer group sessions with men who love men
*Qualifications, postgraduate -not sexological specific: Dip. Teaching (Advanced). Cert. Professional Development and Supervision. Dip. Rehabilitation Studies. Masters papers in Narrative and Collaborative Style.

Ancesters/Whakapapa

My ancestors/whakapapa are all those of the gay “rainbow underworld” who were murdered, disappeared, took their lives, died before their time through HIV/AIDS and/or lived with the denial and secrecy, or the honour of identifying with, and/or loving differently.

My waka is my ability as a child to hold a dream of a ‘different life’ for 20 years and have it come to fruition! –”I Have a Dream”, Martin Luther King.

My mountain is Tapuae-o-Uenuku     
My river is the Wairau River and the context for the Wairau Massacre (Event) with Te Rauparaha of the Tangitane iwi, Ngati Toa tribe.

My sea is Cloudy Bay/Koko-o-kupe to the east 
and the Marlborough Sounds and Cook Strait to the north/te Tau Ihu o waka Māui (prow of Maui’s waka)                                                                                                                                             

Are we willing to consider that misogyny, heterosexism/homophobia, ablism, ageism, philos-/psycho-/’neo-siritualityreligion and race are also about power and control –greater privileges and resources for some at the expense of incarceration, hate crimes, micro (unconscious/rationalised/organisational heterosexist practice)-aggressions, losses and punishments for others?

Professionally i have been a specialist teacher in special education in terms of vision/multiple impairment, and, in particular, the discipline pertaining to Orientation&Mobility (long cane and guide dog travel), from early childhood through to palliative care. I have a particular interest in values and organisational culture as it pertains to a learning and development organisational culture, and external professional supervision, using a narrative and collaborative style, respectively -See Dulwich Centre, Melbourne, Australia, https://dulwichcentre.com.au  Some five years ago, I enrolled at my local high school for two years, studying visual arts, having hardly ever painted. My divinity practice is a basis for most of my creations, these days, having been inspired by Max Gimblett, New Zealand/NY

Larry Yang made reference to identity in relation to spirituality (January 28, 2021, Harvard Buddhist Community) -let us also consider, unconditionally, our body, inclusive of our myriad and diverse friendships/affection/intimacy/partnership(s)/sexuality, also, as a gateway for recognising and living our individual and collective divinity! Larry also clarified that any perceived “separation” was part of the process for diverse practitioners to consolidate their own sense of self individually and as a community, just as the majority community has done of right all along, and then as a way of returning to a majority context in an affirmed and confirming way, for the mutual benefit of all. The LGBTQIAC+ community hold an experiential body of knowledge about gender and sexuality that would benefit all practitioners!

*’an Heyoka/Clown of a divinity, still manifesting ..!

Introduction Page 4.1: Who am I/are You? Unconditional Inclusivity, devoid of an inferred, conditional and divisive code!

When did we/you become aware that we/you were heterosexual or of other (different from)?

Who are we/you in terms of societal privilege or denial/bias/prejudice/marginalisation/disenfranchisement/discrimination?

When did we/you become aware that LGBTQIA+people, in some traditional/indigenous cultures, were, and still are, integrated and perceived as of value within the ‘fabric’ of their society?

When did we/you become aware that most cultures and societies have developed from/are evolving from a foundation of heterosexism/homophobia; as well as sexism, classism, racism, ablism, ageism, and psychological/philosophical/religious/spiritual/divine mono-enculturation?

When did we/you become aware that heterosexism and homophobia; sexism, classism, racism, ablism, ageism, and psychological/philosophical/religious/spiritual/divine bigotry and enculturation are indicative of systemic power and control -resources and privileges for some, at the expense of others, while at the same time ‘talking the talk’ of inclusivity, compared with ‘walking the talk’?

When did we/you become aware that we/you wanted and needed to go beyond our/your own unconscious and/or conscious hatred/discrimination/prejudice/bias and/or preoccupation with an overriding sense of a less conscious hetero-normalacy at the individual/sangha/centre/international practice level, while at the same time, with deep thinking, invite in actual dialogue pertaining to a different world view, of mutual benefit and reciprocity, and learning through understanding, by simply asking the question:

How is it for you as a LGBTQIA+ person within your/our divinity practice? -while at the same there remains a similar question for people of race, gender, class/caste, different-ability, age and psychology/philosophy/religion/spirituality/divinity.

When did we/you become aware that we/you can stand with presence within the ‘inter-are” between heterosexual and other?

When did we/you become aware that we/you were able to breathe/pause/linger some more and ‘stop’ within the presence of unconscious and conscious systemic homophobia and heterosexism, however fleetingly!?

Key Psycho-Socio-Cultural Considerations in terms of LGBTQIAC+ people -developmental, organisational and maturational differences; narratives and languaging; belonging and other

*Aspects of these considerations may also apply to other than LGBTQIAC+ people eg. people of race/ethnicity -slavery, colonised; gender; class/caste/refugee/migrant; sexual orientation; different-ability; age, and; psychology/philosophy/religion/spirituality/divinity -faith/no faith/god(dess)/no god(dess), but can be a key point of difference that maybe misunderstood by our practice organisation, and of key importance for many people of Rainbow Culture in terms of an energetic invisibility from conception and not being named for reasons of semantics; heteronormative world views come informedness of rationalisations about same/different, separation/segregation; ‘spiritual bypassing in terms of self/non-self, the relative/ultimate; adhering to a particular locus of power and control around decision making as a belonging majority for other, and; compartmentalising/dismissing/denying of our sexual orientation as monastics/lay practitioners despite the fact that any given population is comprised of some 11+% who are other than heterosexual!.

1. Developmental, Organisational and maturational

-from the moment of conception and/or as an embryo, or infant, we are energetically exposed to the dualism of a boy/girl dichotomy from our mother/parents/community eg. Are you having a girl or a boy?

-we grow up in a family, psycho-socio-cultural system, wherein, a parent may be secretive about their own sexual orientation, and/or thereby perpetuates their own heterosexism/homophobia onto a developing child/young adult ie. a father lives a secretive double life

-there is an absence of specific affirmation of our infant/childhood experience, and robust literature and research in terms of the developing sensori-psycho-social experience and needs of pre-linguistic infants and children pertaining to the energetic experience of the LGBTQIAC+ affection/attraction/pre-adolescence sexuality ie. parents are oblivious to/underestimate the pre-linguistic, direct insight and psycho-social knowing of infants and children

-as a developing child our developmental milestone in terms of identity is delayed, interrupted, distorted, fragmented, pathologised, traumatised and/or never fully completed ie. some children have never identified as a boy/girl, and/or are of an intermediary or fluid identity that is not linguistically available

-a child adult-like neuro-psycho-social pathway is developed in the brain from a very young age so as to manage issues of psycho-social health and wellbeing, and, in order to integrate the contradictions between the internal and external lived experience of LGBTQIAC+ infants/children/young adults

-from as young as early childhood onwards, our sense of self may be confused with, perceived as of and linked to paedophilia, blackmail and murder; vulnerable to indiscriminate police harassment for wearing a non-binary dress code or holding hands with a person of the same gender; generalised discrimination eg. employment in education; needing to be ‘under the radar’ and self-monitoring; being considered unnatural, dirty and linked to bestiality, as if we are somehow more animal than human, and; somehow a ‘girl’, whether that be through the play of dressing up in early childhood education or being psycho-socio-culturally intelligent, emotionally!

-despite an UN intervention, many nations, including NZ, still allow the morphology of a young child’s genitalia to be surgically normalised by heterosexist parents and surgeons, despite the fact of our knowing that a child’s psycho-sexual development is systemic in nature. Refer to the questionable research of John Money, sexologist, Johns Hopkins University, not to mention his code of ethics in terms of underage male ‘patients’

-there is, to varying degrees, a lifelong developmental and maturational estrangement from our biological or adopted family system, and, also, in terms of the mother/father and daughter/son relationship, and same gender sibling dyad ie. some parents carry a lifelong wish to their deathbed, for their son/daughter to be heterosexually married and have children; absentee and emotionally absent fathers and men over many generations

-there is, to varying degrees, a lifelong psychological challenge come trauma/re-experiencing of, in that ‘coming out’ is a cyclical and changing past/present/future timeline pattern throughout our lives eg. coming out to ourselves as a child/young adult internally/externally; becoming a psychology/philosophy/religion/spirituality/divinity practitioner and then experiencing being ‘other’ within a lesser skilful heteronormative organisational practice (ie. sangha, retreat centre, monastery of monocultural or multicultural heritage), and; seeking a ‘belonging’ through segregated sanghas and/or practising with ally groups such as those of Race, Quakers etc.

-there is an intergenerational pattern of extended family members disappearing, normalised into invisibility and/or silenced/deleted from conversation eg. an uncle disappeared as a young adult from my extended family, never to be seen again; two women that live together are referred to as ‘aunties’

2. Narratives and languaging

-throughout infancy, childhood, adolescence, young adulthood and beyond, there is an absence of robust LGBTQIAC+ cultural narratives in terms of gender and psycho-social attraction/affection/friendship within the content and process of play, education and life long learning and development eg. there are very few picture/story books for children to identify with and in so doing being acknowledged and affirmed

-there is a socio-cultural dis-ease/discomfort around sexuality per se in that it is deleted and/or there is an absence of healthy and robust narrative and language for all people, leave alone LGBTQIAC+ affection/attraction/friendship/partnerships/relationships ie. consider the content of advertising, and pornography

-there is an absence of a socio-cultural and sanctioned practice language, teachings and re-interpretation of texts to perceive and affirm the continuum of gender, identity, psycho-social relating and sexuality from other than a narrow and dualistic way -language represents the interface between a culture and its experience of such

3. Belonging and other

-we grow up in a family, socio-cultural system, wherein, our difference is perceived as a sexual orientation (aberration), instead of from within a cultural ancestry in terms of a particular role and sense of purpose within a community -consider Two-Spirit people within some First Nation, American Indian reservations

-from early childhood to senior years, LGBTQIAC+ people are continually re-negotiating their interactions/’outness’/sense of belonging in terms of the philo-linguistic and psycho-social and religio-spiritual territory within an hetero-normative majority organisation and sangha, together with dharma constructs that can be understood and interpreted in such a way as to ignore key socio-cultural considerations and question the religio-spiritual integrity of LGBTQIAC+ people eg. the construct of self/non-self; the Tsongkhapa text on sexual misconduct, of the Mahayana Buddhist tradition

-LGBTQIAC+ people may also experience marginalisition in multiple ways, if they are also living with the systemic variables of race/ethnicity; class/caste (slavery/colonised/refugee/migrant); gender; different-ability; age; and psychology/philosophy/religion/spirituality/divinity

-there are few philosophical/psychological/religious/spiritual systems in the world that honour the inherent human sexual differentness and spiritual integrity of LGBTQIAC+ people as more than a mere deviation/sexual orientation and from within a cultural paradigm ie. Rainbow Culture eg. contrary to public persona and ‘western’ buddhist opinions, the Dalai Lama still uses social media platforms to position LGBTQIA+ people as lesser than practitioners within the Gelug school of the Mahayana tradition https://www.dalailama.com/news/2015/interacting-with-school-students-and-teaching-from-nagarjunas-fundamental-wisdom

*Aspects of these considerations may also apply to other than LGBTQIAC+ people eg. people of race -slavery, colonised/ethnicity, class/caste/refugee/migrant, sexual orientation, different-ability, age and psychology/philosophy/religion/spirituality/divinity), but can be pertinent for many people of Rainbow Culture in terms of belonging to more than a single component eg. LGBTQIAC+ and Afro-American